What if a single courageous decision at 19 could reshape your entire life path? Join us as we sit down with the inspiring Shelly Vernon, who made the brave move from California to Texas, setting off a journey of personal transformation. As a young single mother, Shelly faced life’s challenges head-on with resilience and strength, sharing compelling stories like her unforgettable “spider story”—a symbol of the divine messages we often overlook. Through our heartfelt conversation, listeners will find encouragement to embrace their inner light and grow in the face of adversity.
In the next segment, we delve into the profound journey of self-reflection and the art of letting go. Many of us cling to control, but what happens when we surrender to faith and allow divine alignment to guide us? We explore the importance of identifying life’s distractions and the power of silence in gaining clarity and peace amidst anxiety. By sharing personal anecdotes, we highlight how connecting with our true selves and seeking accountability can lead to a higher purpose and a more fulfilling life.
Relationships can be a maze of misunderstandings and miscommunications, especially between genders. We explore these dynamics through insights from Alison Armstrong’s “The Queen’s Code,” uncovering the biological and societal conditioning that often leads men and women astray. By appreciating non-verbal cues and shifting perspectives, we can enhance our relationships and foster deeper connections. Finally, we discuss the significance of embracing multiple roles without succumbing to the all-or-nothing mindset. Shelly shares her involvement with Milestone, an organization committed to collaboration and growth, and we celebrate light bringers who illuminate the paths for others, reminding us all to be the light as inspired by Matthew 5:14.
Transcript:
Speaker 1:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt or worry and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, sylvia Worsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, sylvia Worsham.
Speaker 2:
Hey, lightbringers, it’s Sylvia Worsham, your host of Release Reveal Purpose, and today is Shelly Vernon, and she is by far one of the people that I can always count on to be that voice inside my head. You know, the mentor that you always wanted. She’s it, and she and I met back in 2022. In December, I interviewed to be part of this mastermind, this national mastermind. Something caught my attention on LinkedIn and I reached out and the head, vixen in charge, said hey me, let you talk to my collaborator, shelly vernon, who’s going to be interviewing you. And I thought, oh, that interview is going to last like 30 minutes. No, it lasted three hours, and it was three hours of this like amazing connection with this individual and we just talked about our faith and we talked about our relationships and our connection was just so profound and I knew I needed to join this Vixen Mastermind and the reason why I joined was because of Shelly Vernon. So, welcome, shelly. Thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 3:
Oh, my goodness, thank you so much, sylvia, for having me, and I want to back up because, as you came in, you said did you say, hey, light bringers? Yes, I love that. Oh, my goodness, I love that.
Speaker 2:
Yes, because we’re all light bringers right. Because most of us get caught up in, like the darkness and the doubts of our lives and we forget that we do carry that beautiful light inside of us.
Speaker 3:
So, yeah, okay, that that’s beautiful. That is absolutely beautiful. I’m gonna have to start using that why not right?
Speaker 2:
the more light we spread, the better. So you know I have you on here because, aside from the fact that you were someone that profoundly impacted my my journey last year, you were someone that I respect immensely and who has so much to offer our listeners, our light bringers on release that reveal purpose. And I know you have this amazing story of transformation and I just wanted to kind of hand over the microphone to you so you could share with the listeners that amazing, powerful story of yours.
Speaker 3:
Oh gosh, where do you want me to start? Do you want me to start from how I even got to Texas? Because I think that’s really where that transformation started. And though I was 19 at the time and like I don’t know if you tell people your age, but I just turned 50 this month what you would say to your 19 year old self right, I think the journey to Texas is really what started that transformation. And transformation isn’t just one dimensional or just it doesn’t just happen one time, right, it’s different points of transformation throughout your journey. So I’ll start with coming to Texas. It was a decision kind of like on a whim.
Speaker 3:
I was 19, a single mom. Actually, I was 18, single mom, and yeah, you have a child young, and you have these conversations with your mate and you’re like, oh, you go to school first and then I’ll go to school, and that rarely happens that way. But that’s what that was and that’s what brought me to Texas. The original end journey was to end up in Atlanta and I stopped in Texas to visit an aunt and a comment was made by my eldest son’s father and a planet flag here, and I’ve been here ever since. But that initial trip one was my journey into courage, right, because on a whim, I was like I’m going to move from California I was born and raised there and I’m just going to move across the country to Atlanta where I knew no one but my son’s father, and at the time I really didn’t think about it in terms of being courageous, right. So that was that first part of the journey and, by the way, it takes immense courage to to leave a corporate job where you’re, where you have security, and start your own thing, Right. So I think that’s that’s the starting point of my, of my journey, the transformation and understanding now what that single move did and the trajectory that it set me off on. What that single move did and the trajectory that it set me off on, I would say, another point in transformation that really stands out, and you and I spoke about this on that three-hour call, and that was probably four or five years now, and Sylvia knows. So it’s the spider.
Speaker 3:
I had this encounter with several spiders over the course of a two or three month period and understanding that understanding and listening to that subtle small voice in your head, and understanding that those are God moments, right, and the spider story is and I’ll give you guys the abridged version. And that was I was getting ready to get in the shower and I realized that I had not taken out my clothes for the day. So I go into my closet and at the time I had bamboo flooring and at the entrance of my closet was a spider. So I stepped over the spider. I’ll get to that, you know. Get my clothes out, step back over the spider. I’ll get to that. Get my clothes out, step back over the spider. I’ll get to that. Realize I took all my clothes out but I didn’t take out undergarment. So I go back into the closet, step over the spider again, get my undergarment, step over the spider again, coming out of the closet and all in my head I’m like I’ll get that later, I’ll get that later. And I get in the shower and the God moment was you missed an opportunity, right? And I’m thinking, ok, get out the shower, go, spider’s gone.
Speaker 3:
A couple of weeks later I’m in Dallas visiting family, dead, spider in the shoe feels like a rock. And at the time again the voice came back. You missed an opportunity, right, the voice came back. You missed an opportunity, right. A couple of weeks after that, in the bathroom. Look up at the ceiling. Spider in the corner, I’ll get that. Walk out the bathroom, walk back in spider still there, I’ll get that. You know this.
Speaker 3:
This story kind of continues over the course of several weeks. All the while it was God whispering to me you’re missing opportunities. I’m putting opportunities ahead of you to prepare you right, and you don’t think about that when it happens, so that you recognize when I’m putting these opportunities in front of you. Missed the spider again, but that third time I didn’t miss the spider right. But in the course of that I actually did some research on spiders Right, and the spiritual meaning specifically behind webs.
Speaker 3:
One I didn’t know that spider webs are are made of silk, which was very intriguing to me.
Speaker 3:
But you know how?
Speaker 3:
You see that one lone spider web and there’s no actual web, right.
Speaker 3:
Well, that’s because spiders intrinsically know that building a web there is not going to yield what they wanted to yield Right.
Speaker 3:
So they abandoned it. And I was like, hmm, there’s no opportunity there, versus where they build the web, there’s opportunity, right. So they are very keen on understanding opportunity. So I was like, oh, wow, ok, this takes it to that, that lesson in transformation to a whole different level Right. And then, most recently With and you know, I think when you’re on a podcast, you have a responsibility to be transparent right, and that was financially right because I’ve always governed my finances very, very well. Even through COVID, I was able to maintain milestone in my personal um finances and so I was like, wow, I recently sold my home and I was like I don want to say I woke up one morning and God whispered I need you to let this house go. And it was a home that I purchased after my divorce and raised my, my children, in. And I literally walked and sobbed for three hours like God, seriously, like you know what it took to get here right After the divorce, and God just kept saying I need you to trust me, I need you to trust me.
Speaker 1:
So I’m like okay.
Speaker 3:
I’m going to sell this house. Well, when you say okay, you’re now in covenant. When you say, okay, you’re now in covenant, right, and I broke that covenant based on outsiders saying you need to keep your house and blah, blah, blah, blah. And so things just started going like awry, right. And then when I came back to the realization of I broke covenant, which was a lesson right In transformation for me when you say yes, it needs to remain, yes, right, bottom line sold the house in just a few days and all has been well. But in the process of selling the house, that voice came back and the voice said this time it has not been about your finances. This was because I’ve been in valleys before and in each valley you learn a lesson. This was a lesson in faith and trust disguised as my finances right, and just that aha moment brought so much transformation for me to where I’m a logical person right.
Speaker 3:
And faith is not logical. Faith is the things unseen, right. Trust can also be the things unseen, unseen. And so just living my life now and this was July, august, timeframe right. So again now I’m on a new path and a new journey and understanding what that transformation has to look like.
Speaker 3:
And it’s not Shelly’s always in control, because Shelly’s always in control. Shelly’s always in control because Shelly’s always in control. Shelly’s not in divine alignment, shelly is not submitting and understanding what faith and trust really looks like, right. And so that part of the of the journey and that part of transformation is, for someone who has been in control the majority of her life, right and making the decision that is, that is, yeah, there’s some, there’s some transformation going on Right. To release that and say, ok, I’m going to allow people to come in, I’m going to allow the lessons, I’m going to say, okay, god, if this is where you want to plant me, I’m going to trust it, I’m going to have faith in it. I know that there’s something, not just for me here, but for others, and there may be nothing there for me, but the satisfaction of I impacted someone else.
Speaker 3:
And that’s what I was here to do.
Speaker 2:
I love a lot of the points that you made about faith and trust and I think that, and having the courage to step out of your comfort zone and move from California to Texas and then to sell your home, you know and to stay in alignment, because a lot of times you’re right, we get pulled into the darkness of doubt very easily by outside influences and so you have to be careful who you allow to speak into you, who you, what thoughts you’re willing to engage with.
Speaker 2:
Yes, right, so I I love those points because just yesterday, as very few people know, I reached out out to you, and I did very specifically because now, when I’m in trouble, when my doubt is clouding my judgment, I want to reach out to people that I know are going to call me out on my crap, like, who are going to like, sit me down and be accountable and be the first person to ask me the hard questions. They’re not easy questions and I knew they were not going to be easy, and I still put myself in that position on purpose, because I wanted to stay in alignment to God’s course.
Speaker 2:
For my life, despite the challenges that came to disrupt and to distract and I know that you and I have talked distractions to step out of doubt and into the light, where then you’re in full alignment to God’s plan for your life.
Speaker 3:
I think it would go really back to understanding where the opportunities are. Right. Again, the spider, that single web, this is this. This place may look great, but it’s a distraction or disruptor from where I really need to be and when I and when the spider course corrects, you see this beautiful, intricate, intricate web that they built.
Speaker 3:
Right, but understanding that and that, again, was part of that lesson for me, and so I have learned to very quickly understand this is a distraction, ok, and that distraction, that distraction, is going to disrupt where I’m supposed to be, the conversations about the house, rightowing those things to come in, and they came in as emotional distractions or disruptions. Right, your kids need to have somewhere to come home to when they come home from college. You know all of these things. And then, as I sat back and really looked at it, I was like wait a minute, my kids don’t really come home like that anymore for me to have this, you know, 4,000 square foot home and all this space, right, not that there’s anything wrong with that, right, like when I’m back on whatever, I’m sure I’ll have something larger, because that house was twice the size of my initial home when I moved to Texas. Right, but for this journey right now. That lesson was you’re listening to people with this emotional plea, but on the other side of that, this house is a distraction. The children are off living their own lives and doing their own thing, as I raised them to do, are off living their own lives and doing their own thing as I raised them to do. So do I really need to keep this or listen and go back to hey, this is what I said I want for you and you need to align to that.
Speaker 3:
Right, and again, I think it’s really about listening, but we have so much noise around us at times Right, everything coming out is TV friends that we don’t take the time to be silent. Because in silence, that’s when I came to me like the distraction. This is going to be disruptive in what I’m supposed to do. Where God is placing me? Well, I think it’s the silence for me. For me, it’s the silence, and I think that a lot of us are uncomfortable with silence. Right, those people that know me, they know I have one television in my home.
Speaker 3:
Those people that know me, they know I have one television in my home. It’s never been in my bedroom, matter of fact. It’s upstairs, it’s away from me and it’s usually used for workout purposes. Right, that’s not to say that I don’t ever binge, watch a show or whatever if I need some mindless time, but I’m not one that watches television every day. I have books around me and sometimes I have to put the books down so that I can just be silent. It’s in the silent times that you can connect to self, the higher part of yourself, and ask the hard questions, have prayer, praise and meditation time to get the answers that you need to see. What you need to see, it’s the silence yeah, and the answers do come like.
Speaker 2:
Even after our conversation yesterday I stayed very quiet in the car and I asked myself the hard questions again and then I slowed down the thoughts that were coming at me yeah, very, very fast, and I do think I suffer.
Speaker 2:
My anxiety tends to be always in the background and I found that that’s where the enemy has come in, to kind of like talk, whisper, you know, sly things to me and I’ve allowed certain things to spew out of me because I’ve allowed those thoughts to come out of me that were not thoughts that were in my favor or in the favor of our union and our marriage. It was, you know, to to pit us one against the other and that’s not good, right. So I think that the silence piece is really the piece that most people struggle with, because they give themselves the out the excuse of I’m too busy to do that to myself. It’s so interesting when they say that, but they’re not too busy to contemplate bullshit in their head. They’re not too busy to complain about crap. They’re not too busy to create trauma drama around themselves. They’re not too busy for create trauma drama around themselves. They’re not busy for that. Right, that’s so cool. What do you have to say about that?
Speaker 3:
I think you’re absolutely right. You know the things that we allow to distract us right. We’re not too busy to go out and have drinks with friends. We’re not too busy to sit down and turn on the TV. We’re not too busy to get all the BS right. Because those things are the things that we put in front of the silent time with self right, our distractions. But the thing I think about that is is we put those things in front of time itself because the majority of people don’t want to look in the mirror.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
Because, that is. That is a difficult thing, especially when you have to say to yourself, man, I’ve been full of BS. I had a conversation and this is this is absolute truth. I had a conversation with an ex-partner last week for my birthday and um and where, and he said, you know, I’ve had to sit down and take some time to reflect on what happened between us, which I really appreciate it, right, like I love this person beyond the relationship, right, and the fact that we can still converse and kind of hang out a little bit and have that hard conversation. Where he says, you know, I thought about the things that I did during my relationship and I find myself defending myself against myself and I said so like true self-defense and like we both just cracked up, right.
Speaker 3:
But that’s what it is. Most people don’t want to self-defend right. Or they want to self-defend it and say well defended. And say, well, I did that because this happened and you did this, and not ever look at what they did, the part that they played in it, and you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, yeah, I probably shouldn’t have said that or that behavior was pure trash, right.
Speaker 3:
And for me sometimes it’s not my words, it’s my tone, right, and I have to look at myself in the mirror and say, shelly, you could have said that with a more loving tone. Loving tone now, because the words were true and you don’t want to take away from that, right?
Speaker 2:
and I’m always cognizant of my words, very cognizant of my words, but that tone with the words or the body language with the words I can’t know, the eyes for me, like I didn’t point it out the other day, and in lunch he’s like you don’t really mean what you’re saying to me, because look at your body language, like you’re just like I’m sorry and then rolling your eyes back and he did this, really exaggerated, which I used to do when we were first dating that he mocked and that my mom mocked because I would do it and it was a subconscious thing. And then I stopped doing it because it was very disrespectful. But then I started to do it again and I just roared in laughter during that lunch because I was like, yeah, that I’m not saying it sincerely, I don’t mean it sincerely, and my body language is like that and my tone is quick, you know, and like I just want to get this over with, to get back to defending myself, right. Then you’re not really saying you’re sorry and you’re not really owning your part in it. You’re just kind of moving the conversation forward. Yeah, I get it, I totally get it, because this has just been one example after another and this is the way God speaks to both you and I.
Speaker 2:
This I think he uses me with you and he uses you with me and it’s like, dude, cut it out, like you guys know how y’all are and you know what you need to do. You just need to go out and do it and that’s that, and your crap. Now you know what you need to do. You just need to go out and do it and that’s that, like end your crap. Now you know, and it’s great that this guy in your life actually went back and reflected, because you and I both do a lot of reflection. We’re really good at that. But I also know that mankind I don’t know how it is for men, you know in reflection I think they struggle a lot with it because they are very single focus on their work, right.
Speaker 3:
I think I would agree. And I would add to that, though I think the reason that he was able to do that and actually communicate that to me is because I did leave space for that. Now, have I always left space for that? No, Right. But when? That? When that, when the intimate part of the relationship ended, you know the? And when I say intimacy, I don’t mean, like, necessarily physical intimacy, but the, the intimate part where we are as one in the relationship. Right, it took several months, but I opened that space back up, right.
Speaker 2:
I’m curious how you did that. Can you explain to me how you did that, Because I’m curious for me. So okay.
Speaker 3:
So for me, when I ended that space, it was like don’t ever call me again, right, it didn’t. It wasn’t like truly nasty and ugly, but that was not my best moment, right, given what was going on. And so several months later I reached out because he still had contact with my children, right, because he was who they know. And so I reached out and I was like, hey, how are you, are you okay? And that created that space for us to at least say hey, I’m doing well, I’m not doing well or what have you? Right, it created that. It opened the door back up to from my don’t ever call me again, right, which, again, was not my finest hour, but that’s why I but I was intentional about that, because I do love this person beyond that type of intimate relationship, and I think that that was also a lesson that I learned, and it was from my mom actually telling people hey, yeah, when she’s done, she’s done. It may take her a while to get there, but when she’s done, she will act like you never existed. And that doesn’t feel good to have someone say about you.
Speaker 3:
And I again had to look at that mirror and say, wow, do I really behave that way, and the answer was yes, I have behaved that way, right, and so how do I change that? And that is be mindful of how I end things. Do I leave the space for there to be something after any type of relationship, right, if it’s a friendship or whatever? How am I leaving people is the better way to put it, and that is important to me. How am I leaving you? Because it is important for me to leave people in situations better than when they met me, and I didn’t do that, so I had to create the space to create that environment.
Speaker 2:
Do you think it has anything to do with our personality being primarily a D where we’re constantly and that’s in the DISC profile guys? For those that don’t know, the D is something I have, that you have, that we have in common.
Speaker 2:
And I’m on the outer edge of it, that’s like direct. Direct and to the point and very action oriented and sometimes impulsive, because we don’t think things through as well as, say, a C. My husband’s a C, a very high C, very analytical. He looks at everything before he makes a decision, which isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a bad thing at all, but for Ds it kind of aggravates us, cause we’re just like come on what the hell’s taking you so long, you know, like let’s just get this shit over with, let’s just keep moving.
Speaker 2:
And I know that in therapy I was like that. I was like I was ready to have a solution based therapy session, yes, and the objectives were completely off. Like he had never had an opportunity to open up about the wounds in our marriage, right? So that’s gonna take some time to unravel and to kind of like, and I was just the biggest like I’ve sabotaged myself immensely, you know, and it took like reflecting and just kind of like slowing shit down in my head. But do you think it has anything to do?
Speaker 3:
with the d, I think. So one of the things in that particular relationship was like he would love to open up and share everything, right, and D’s were like bullet point that out for us from A to Z, very the most efficient way as possible. And when he opened up, the stories would go all around the United States and through every state, and I would be like struggling right. The funny thing about that, though, is when he would communicate with others. I would always say to him man, like you zone in and out of a conversation, you’re like not paying attention, much like Adidas, right, because we will zone in and out. If it’s a long story involved and it’s not bullet pointed out for us and it’s not quick, we’re like, okay, I’m going to check back, I’m out.
Speaker 2:
And then we miss like these moments. They’re talking about Right Rap. What is right to say?
Speaker 3:
You know, right, but with him, with me. He wanted to share that part of himself with me and I oftentimes in the beginning didn’t understand that. I need to appreciate that and that’s a very D-like trait, but it taught me a lot about really honing in and listening to what people are saying, but also what they’re not saying, right, because what he was saying to me without saying it, with all the stories and all the sharing, was you make me feel safe and you make me feel seen and you make me feel loved, so I can give this to you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah. And it brings me back to the book you recommended last year to me, the Queen’s Code, and my gosh, what a that’s by Alison Anderson. For those that don’t know that book, it’s better to download it on Kindle, because it’s really hard to find in print and also 60 bucks on print. So I’m like, wow, that’s a lot of money for a book. Shit. I’m a, you know, I’m an author and I should maybe be charging that much. But it’s wonderful because men and women are pitted against each other societally. The whole female revolution, the whole rights movement kind of put us from one extreme to the next and there’s no in between. And men in that book are described very differently than the men we encountered and how we encountered those experiences with men. And I kind of really want to dive a little bit deeper into that realm because I think dark conversation is kind of taking us there. It’s a relationship-based conversation. What do you think of the concepts that were shared by Alison Anderson in the Queenscoop?
Speaker 3:
I think they are still so very relevant and I think we have been taught to look at men in this adversarial way and when we understand that men are coded to protect and to problem solve and and you know things of that nature, we can look at them from a different perspective. Right, and it may not look because he was very protective and always wanted to solve a problem, but I may not need that and I but I didn’t communicate that, right, like hey, I really this is how I want you to listen to me Now. I don’t want you to listen to solve a problem, I just want you to listen Cause I just want to talk, right.
Speaker 3:
I could have done better communicating that instead of being irritated like you’re not listening. I don’t want you to solve my problem, I don’t, you know. Yeah, and so I think the concepts and even the way that she teaches us or proposes that we look and understand what their actions and what their words are really saying look and understand what their actions and what their words are really saying this is how I arrived at when he was doing all this talking. This is what he was actually saying to me, because we had also done the love language work and so we were very attuned to that and I think that love language book, in combination with the Queen’s Code, those are some really impactful things for a relationship.
Speaker 3:
But I think what struck me the most about Queen’s Code is when she says that we tend, as women, tend to look at men as hairy women, and when they don’t be remember that and when they don’t behave as though we think they should which is, as a woman, we get upset and out of sorts and we don’t understand and I was like, wow, am I doing that? And actually, yes, I am. I’m not. I’m not looking at him as the protector, provider, problem solver. I’m looking at him as listen, I could see the perspective from him and I could also see we call it impressing, right, like when a man does something and he’s like I want to. I want to impress her. It’s for points.
Speaker 2:
Men truly do play for points they do like they do play for points and they’re and they wonder why we’re not paying attention to those points, right. But then she does kind of describe how women are, which I think is hilarious that whole thing. Alice was in keys to the kingdom, which is the first book, and it it’s Alison Armstrong I keep saying her last name, wrong, right, I think it’s Armstrong. Keys to the Kingdom is the prequel to Queen’s Code, but the way that she was describing women was the example with the refrigerator. Do you remember that we go to the refrigerator because we’re hungry, right? And then we look and everything’s disorganized in there and so we start to clean out the kitchen you know counter or whatever, like the levels and then we forget why we were there in the first one. We walk away and we’re starving the whole day. The guy with single focus, he’s hungry, he goes, he gets. That’s rude, you know, and just can do that, but we are distracted by our environment so dramatically.
Speaker 2:
that’s why the socks on the floor, they scream and yell at us pick us up, pick us up, pick us up, pick us up, pick us up. And you’re like, why is it doing that? And it’s because, biologically speaking, we are very different. We were the gatherers and the wanderers, right, and they were the hunters. And so we are very differently biologically designed. And that’s why we can’t see eye to eye, you know, and why we’re pitted against each other and we don’t see each other’s attempts at being loving and can’t receive the love in return, because our lens is totally different. Right, we just have to switch the lens around and just remember that they are playing for points. They are single focus. They don’t need to be. You know these, these horrible people, and they actually are very big connectors. They want to connect with us. Yes, they’re not trying to compete with us or they don’t want to compete with us. They want to connect.
Speaker 2:
And I find that it was a really good book. In fact, I was going to go back and reread it, um, in this season, because I think, as we grow and transform, we see things very differently than, let’s say, last summer, that I was just like really pouring myself into it because I just couldn’t understand what was happening Right, and I sought to understand. I don’t think my husband knows just how much influence he has over me, and so I’m going to publicly release it here. He has a ton of influence over me, to the point where I go and I seek out the solution to what he’s telling me I need to fix right, because they’re problem solvers, they’re very good at fixing, and so maybe I need to tell him more how much influence he does have over me and might make him feel a little better.
Speaker 3:
I think when you read the book this time, because your perspective and where you are in your journey and in your relationship with your husband is different now, I think you’ll get something different from it this time different now.
Speaker 2:
I think you’ll get something different from it this time. Yeah, yeah, I’m hopeful for that and I’m always open to receive, like, some new information. And that’s why I always reach out to you, shelly, because you read a lot and I read too. I’ve just gotten out of the habit because in this grief journey I’m currently on, with my daddy dying about four months ago, I there’s times I just want to escape into the TV. I don’t want to think, I don’t want to feel, I don’t it just it’s so dark sometimes and it wants to pull me under, and I’ve reached out to different people for that reason. So, and I do know those tendencies within me, so I know that now I’m like, no, I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s actually kind of boring and it’s very lonely. I’d rather be with my family, I’d rather play games, I’d rather be out with them, because that was another thing he was mentioning to me.
Speaker 2:
But, moving along, because we’ve touched a lot on relationships and on different aspects, if you don’t want to say milestone, which is you’re the founder of, and, and it provides like leadership, what did you say? Effectiveness? No, development and effectiveness. And you do provide the leadership coaching, not just to the leaders, but to the teams. Tell me, is this the purpose? It’s a seasonal thing for you, or is this truly your divine purpose?
Speaker 3:
I would say um purpose? I would say my divine purpose is really to be a disruptor and a catalyst, right. And when you say that people are like, wait what? But a disruptor in organizations to stop some of the nonsense that’s going on. Disruptors in families and in people right, disruption is not necessarily a bad thing. And then a catalyst to um, catapult you to where you’re supposed to be, to really extract that potential out of you.
Speaker 3:
So, no, it’s not just a seasonal thing, it is where I’m supposed to be placed, and for different people it looks like different things, right? So when you go to the website, you’ll see it’s organizational things, but it’s also personal things, right? So there’s organizational coaching for leadership, there’s organizational coaching and development for your team, but also on a personal level, right? Because I think what people forget is that where you are is where you are.
Speaker 3:
If I’m a jerk at home, I’m taking that same jerk to work, right? If I mismanage my time at work, I’m probably mismanaging my time at home. And so really helping people hone in on one who they are and and if there are some tweaks that need to be made, or even extracting something out of them that they didn’t even realize was there. Um, not only impacts the home, but it impacts the business as well, wherever they are. And so I know that sounds like really maybe altruistic, but that that’s that’s who I am, that’s what milestone is, and if you were to ask a business that I’ve helped, they’re going to say one thing, and if you were to ask an individual that I’ve helped, they actually are saying the same thing, but just from two different perspectives, right?
Speaker 2:
I came and I disrupted something and I was a catalyst for something else and I was a catalyst for something else, and that’s awesome that you have a very defined, like the defined roles of disruptor and catalyst, because you do come in to disrupt their comfort, what they call their comfort zone, and then the catalyst is like the start of transformation, and I find that that’s an interesting way of viewing yourself and in identity. Yesterday I had a coaching call and I thought how strange that we don’t want to take on both roles at times, like we identify with just one role, and this person that I was in this coaching call with was they identified as a certain role. But then there was another role that she was talking about and I said, well, why can’t you be both? And she just kind of like sat back and she’s like you know, I never thought of it from that perspective. I think what happens a lot of times is a lot of people have the all or nothing concept playing in the background.
Speaker 3:
But I think we’re socialized.
Speaker 2:
So it can’t be the other. And my husband’s really good about this. He’ll say, for example, just because one person’s right doesn’t automatically mean the other person’s wrong, we can both be right and we can both be wrong. And sometimes yes, sometimes one person’s right and the other one’s wrong. Right, she had never considered.
Speaker 2:
I can be like in my case, I am an author and I am a speaker and I am a coach, a spiritual, transformative coach. Right, and I identify with all three and I don’t think that I need to say that I’m not one or the other. I can say I’m all three, because that’s how I feel I’m able to guide others through their journeys. I can guide them on a stage, I can guide them on this stage podcast, as a podcast host. So I have a lot of roles I play and and it’s all me and I think that’s so cool that you said I’m a you know disruptor and a capitalist, and I happen to be founder of wellstown and this is what we do. Um, any last minute tips you wanted to share with the listeners of Release Reveal?
Speaker 3:
Actually, yes, now, this I did. I thought about a lot when you reached out to me, and that is I would really like people I’m going to finish where I began and I would really encourage people to get silent and listen from within. And listen from within, because I think that we have been socialized to listen with, with everything around us and outside of us, that we discount what is inside of us. Right, we were all given this gift of discernment. We were all given the gift to connect with our higher self, to connect with God, to connect with our higher self, to connect with God. And we give that away. We give that power, so to speak, or authority, that autonomy. We give that away, we give it to everyone else and I would say take it back, pull it back in and really listen to self, right.
Speaker 3:
And then, if you’re unclear still, you might ask for confirmation, and that confirmation may come outside of you. It may come from a conversation with Sylvia that you know. You may say something that they already felt or thought and it was kind of, maybe because they’ve been surrounded by so much noise, the voice inside was so soft it they couldn’t necessarily get it, it wasn’t necessarily clear, right. But then the sylvia or shelly or somebody else comes along and you’re like okay, heard right.
Speaker 2:
Yes yeah, it’s like the light just goes in, like that’s why I call you guys the light bringers, because you and I are both light bringers. We bring light to a darkness, a doubt that people are having, and we guide them out of that doubt into their, their true, the truest, authentic selves, right, and that that’s an awesome gift to have and to use to bring even more light to this world. No wonder the enemy is trying to stop both you and I and distracting us, like every which way. It’s like, oh, no, no, no, I don’t want these two out there working for his team, right, because they are disruptors and they’re disrupting my. You know my quest here to get as many souls on my side, right, and so I kind of view us both as warriors. We’re out there with our swords, with our armor and and you’re in your case, you know your armor has been your courage all along like it’s like you trust me, dude, like just try me, you know, or that that meme that’s on instagram I think it’s so awesome. It says woman on a horse and I love horses and woman with flowing hair, you know and the devil tells her the storm is coming and she’s like, forging on ahead and courageous. You know ways and saying no, dude, I am the damn storm, I am the storm. You may think a storm is coming. It’s coming right at you, so be careful, right?
Speaker 2:
So, yeah, I have so enjoyed our conversation today and I hope the listeners of Released Out and Revealed Purpose will get as much out of it as I have, because I have so much wisdom to share. Shelley, and I really do think you need to be on more podcast stages and more stages, and I would love to be on a physical stage with you and I think you would be like awesome together. Lots of sparks, you know, and I would know when to step away from my D, to not let my D like totally take over. But how can people reach you? If I’m a big organization and do tell me, like, how big are these organizations that you work with? And if I wanted to get in touch with you, how can I reach?
Speaker 3:
you, so milestone partners with any organization, small to large, um, and again with, with individuals, so, and in any industry, for what I do, for what we do. And the easiest way to contact us would be via the website, which is Milestone, with a Y, so M-Y-L-E-S-T-O-N-E, and then D, like David, m, like Michael, c, like Charles, so MilestoneDCcom. That is the most effective way to reach us, and then you can learn a little bit more about me and the team and what we do.
Speaker 2:
That’s awesome. Shelly, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for having the show and to the listeners of Release Without Reveal Purpose. Remember what Matthew 514 states be the light. Have a wonderful week, stay safe. Love y’all. Bye now.
Speaker 1:
Bye. So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes will win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to ReleasedOutRevealPurposePodcastcom and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.