I share my transformative journey with the concept of submission, from rejecting it in my wedding vows to embracing it as a profound spiritual practice that strengthened both my relationship with God and my marriage. Through personal stories spanning several years, I reveal how God methodically prepared me through lessons in acceptance, forgiveness, humility, and compassion.
• Growing up viewing submission as weakness based on my parents’ relationship
• Facing a marriage crisis in 2018 that began my journey to understand true submission
• Learning to submit to God first before applying it to my marriage
• Overcoming pride to apologize to a family member during a difficult time
• Recognizing that true submission requires strength, not weakness
• Finding that forgiveness and humility free us from the prison of pride and resentment
• Understanding submission through the lens of 1 Corinthians 13 – love that is not self-seeking and keeps no record of wrongs
Transcript:
Speaker 1:
If you’ve ever struggled with fear, doubt or worry and wondering what your true purpose was all about, then this podcast is for you. In this show, your host, sylvia Worsham, will interview elite experts and ordinary people that have created extraordinary lives. So here’s your host, sylvia Worsham.
Speaker 2:
Hey, lightbringers, it’s Sylvia Worsham. Welcome to Release Doubt. Reveal Purpose. In this episode we’re going to be talking about submission being that dirty little word, and submission was something that I did not understand at all. I’ll be really honest with you, and my little seven-year-old mind didn’t really understand that word. I only understood it as when my mom would be very, very quiet as my dad was demanding things and she would be submissive, right, and I grew up believing it was a really bad thing to be, because I was a lot more strong-willed, according to me, than my mom. But what I didn’t know and what was explained later was that behind closed doors, she would address certain things she didn’t disagree or she didn’t agree with that, and we never saw that. So there was no conflict resolution being done in front of us, it was always behind closed doors. So there was no conflict resolution being done in front of us. It was always behind closed doors. So I know that for me.
Speaker 2:
I kind of looked at that example and said I’m never going to be that woman and I’m never going to be that woman was really a belief system that I held on to for many, many years. In fact, when I got married the first go around, I omitted the word submission in my vows and I also omitted it in the second go around, and it wasn’t until 2018 when that word really made an entrance into my life spiritually. Let me explain what I mean by this. So, for those that read my book In Faith, I Thrive know that chapter 14 is where I discuss submission, but not submission just yet to my spouse, but submission to the Lord. And it was a hard lesson for me to learn and I’m glad I did it first with God, because he’s a very patient and loving and merciful God that he keeps forgiving me for the mistakes I made, and I made tons of mistakes in up and to leading into 2018. So, to just give some perspective on what was happening, in 18, our marriage hit the first roadblock and it was a big one and lots of stress. So, for those that don’t know a lot and haven’t read the book, we encountered a lot of change at the beginning of our marriage, change that we really didn’t make the time to address or heal through and work through, so we just kind of like stuffed it and under a rug and just kept going.
Speaker 2:
But that stuff always comes out, there’s no question, and so God was using this opportunity as like okay, time out, you need to learn what submission looks like to me so that when I have prepared you enough, I will put you to the real test, which is submission to your marriage and to your husband the way you have submitted to me, but first you need to learn it to me. So in those years we hit the roadblock. I go outside, I’m very anguished. We are facing possible divorce. Our daughter is very young, our son is very, very young, my son from my first marriage and I don’t want to get divorced. I just don’t. But in those years I’m operating out of fear of not getting divorced and this was motivating me. But I turned to God nonetheless, and God says okay, you’re going to learn what submission truly is about. It’s not that dirty little word or the slap in the face or cold water in your face kind of feeling that you’re getting every time you hear that word. It’s something totally different and profound and very loving that you’re going to learn how to do and you’re going to learn it through me. Okay. So here we go. I ask him for help.
Speaker 2:
This is a Monday afternoon and Saturday that week I am getting together with ladies from the church. We’re having mimosas by the pool and we’re just relaxing, and after everybody leaves I just break down crying with Joy Yokely, and she was hosting the pool party and she listened intently, like a good friend would do, and then said something that really stopped me dead in my tracks. She said I submitted to my husband and it worked for a little while. It might work for you. And I remember just like my heart literally felt like stopping. Like what do you mean submission? She goes, yeah, submission. And I thought, well, maybe God is sending her my way with a message. So just stay open, even though inwardly my heart clenched. I did not want to even consider it. But I thought, okay, I asked him for help and sometimes when we ask him for help, we don’t get the help that we want. We get the help that he’s going to give us to prepare us. So I’m like okay, fine, date open.
Speaker 2:
At three o’clock in the morning the following morning, sunday this is Sunday morning I get jolted out of bed and God’s like open up your Bible. And my Bible is the leadership Bible by the John Maxwell team, because I’m a John Maxwell coach and he had gifted it to us when we got certified. So here I go, I open it up. I have every intention of going to Jeremiah 29, 11. And instead my book opens up to one of the teachings that John has on leadership with a woman named Abigail, and she comes out, I think, in two kings I’m not very familiar with the Bible, so just don’t quote me. So she’s married to Nabal and he’s an arrogant, super wealthy man in the Old Testament who happens to infuriate David. And so then David, it’s not threatening, he’s. Basically his plan of action is to kill off all of Nabal’s family, including Abigail and her sons.
Speaker 2:
And so one of the servants hears this and runs back to Abigail, and Abigail, being a woman wise beyond her years, gathers all of her fine things, gathers all of her fine things, all the gifts, all the greatest food, like biggest sheep she could find, and kneels down before David and humbly submits to him and shares all her wealth with him and says please consider not taking down my family, please accept this offering from me. My husband does not know what he does, please don’t do this. And he agrees. He agrees not to do anything, but when I read the word submission submission a fluttering in my heart occurred and I knew the Holy Spirit was there, kind of urging me on, saying this is what I’m commanding you to do. And I remember asking are you commanding me to do this? And the answer in my head, like a big yes and big bold letters like started to flash.
Speaker 2:
And I remember having had like researched some coaches I wanted to work with because I was like, where am I going to find the strength to do this, to be this person that he needs me to be, to start stepping up in my marriage? And a name and a face popped up and it was Michelle Baker, and she and I had met at a women networking event long ago and I had just been drawn to her for whatever reason, and so I called her up, made the appointment and I started getting coached by her and, interestingly enough, my husband also got coached at the same time and it was a period in our marriage that was very beautiful. So thank you, michelle, for all the work you did with us, but point being here that I learned how to submit to the Lord and to his ways and his will. This isn’t something I thought of on my own, but the fact that I had leaned into him and asked him hey, can you help me? He sent his messenger, joy and Michelle, to help me kind of start the process of submitting to the lord.
Speaker 2:
Now this is 2018, now we’re in 2025 and I’m facing another roadblock in my marriage an enormous spiritual warfare, because I’m about to start on a spiritual mission for the church and anytime you’re doing any good for god, satan is always waiting on the sidelines to divide you and distract you and just kill your joy. And I knew that, going into it right, and I knew that this was going to start happening in my marriage Again, another big deal. And he starts to move through the husband to distract me, and God showed me that vision long ago, in 2023. I disgusted and in faith I thrive. But here’s the gist of it Last Sunday, as in oh, it was in April, 6th April, something I can’t remember now it was on the Sunday and he said now I’m asking you to submit to your husband as you have submitted to me, and that is in Ephesians Wives submit to your husbands as you submit to the Lord, and husbands submit and love your wives as God loved the church.
Speaker 2:
Submit and love the church, and that’s the command in Ephesians, point being I remember asking him, you’re asking me to do this. And he said, yes, you’re ready. And I said why do you think I’m ready? I don’t know that I’m ready for this. This is a big step for me. And he said, well, let me show you. And he showed me a vision.
Speaker 2:
He showed me look what you did with your dad, the first man that you had issues with, the reason why, at the root cause of why you have so much anger and resentment and limiting beliefs as it pertains to submission. As it pertains to submission, you, in 2020, listened and stayed obedient to me and wrote your first book that healed those wounds. When you reflected back and looked at your dad and looked at his life and looked at why, the motivations, why he did what he did, you understood, and you understood that at the root of why he did certain things was love. Even though fear came out, it was always love and it allowed me to accept my father completely, with his flaws and his great benefits and all his values. But the whole of him, like wholly accepting him and that God attributed like is one of the elements I’m going to need on this journey, and I’ve already learned that lesson and I can apply it here and this is what he’s showing me.
Speaker 2:
You also learned. I also learned forgiveness, despite all the hurts. You know how it says in Corinthians and I know I’ve quoted Corinthians just recently love does not keep a record of wrongs. It happens so much in marriage. We keep all these wrongs in the back of our mind and it just poisons us and it poisons us and it poisons our heart towards the person that we vowed to love in front of God and others. So what I’m saying here is I learned acceptance and forgiveness and then came to another test in 2023. And he said okay, now you need to learn the lesson of humility. I’m like humility. This is going to be a fun one for me, because pride has always been part of my armor and it’s because I’ve been hurt so much in the past that it’s how I protect my heart. And to let that go, to surrender it completely to the Lord, was something else, because what happened in 2023 was in August. We received what I thought was the terminal diagnosis of my dad the tumor’s back.
Speaker 2:
He’s 83 years old, there’s nothing left to do and so it’s going to start robbing him of his ability to walk and talk and everything, and we knew that right. So the stress is really high. And in that weekend I was so upset at a family member for not what I thought not doing their part to be there for our parents that there was a verbal altercation that turned physical, and not by me but by the other family member. And when I explained this to people they always thought well, that person really needs to apologize to you. But somewhere inside of me it felt wrong, it felt in disalignment, it just felt off. But my pride and my ego stepped in and tried to convince me otherwise. But then I spoke to Jason Black, who has made an entrance in this podcast. He said I know you’ve prayed and forgiven this person for their actions, but do they have anything against you? And I said, yes, I started the fight and I verbally attacked. And I said, yes, I started the fight and I verbally attacked. And he said, okay, so you need to repent.
Speaker 2:
And if you read Acts, it talks about repentance. I’m like, oh my goodness, how am I going to do this? Where am I going to find the strength with this. But here’s what I want to remind you. I want to remind you that everything we deem impossible is very possible for God. With God’s strength and God’s guidance, you can do anything. Okay, I’ve done it. I’ve given my second chance. I survived an 80% chance of dying. I became number one saleswoman for Pfizer, even though I was dead last in the region and it was in the same year I got divorced. I mean, even though I was dead last in the region and it was in the same year I got divorced. I mean, every time I turned to God during these dark chapters, everything I deemed impossible became possible. It’s very easy for him. It is we complicate it as human beings. So always, always, turn to God for guidance. I turned to God once again again and I said, okay, how do I do this? How do I handle this? And he said I’m going to lead you. I’m going to lead you on this journey. You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll let you know when the timing is right.
Speaker 2:
Okay, so here comes, like December, january, and our maternal aunt, patricia, passed away suddenly and we all fly to Mexico to be with her, and this family member would not walk into the room where the body was at, because I was in there and it was causing a lot of tension and our mom was just beside herself. She had just lost her best friend, her husband’s, terminally ill. All these things are happening and that’s where I felt Jesus tug at my skirt. I was sitting down and I was like it’s time you got to go and you got to stand up, you got to walk out and you got to repent now. And so, because remember, god sees all of the wounds. We can’t see the wounds inside of other people, Like, I couldn’t see how heartbroken my mother was, truly, and how this other family member was heartbroken as well. I didn’t understand. And how this other family member was heartbroken as well. I didn’t understand. I could only see myself, right.
Speaker 2:
So remember, love is not self-seeking. That’s in 1 Corinthians 13, 1 through 8. It is not self-seeking. It keeps no record of wrongs, it always honors, it always trusts, it always perseveres, love never fails. I mean that one is such a profound verse. It’s not self-seeking, right? So it’s not about me, it’s about Christ and it’s about others and loving others, right? He died for us on the cross in the most horrible way. This is the least we can do.
Speaker 2:
So I stood up.
Speaker 2:
I remember my body was shaking I mean, my legs were trembling so bad.
Speaker 2:
My body was shaking, my legs were trembling so bad and I walked up to this individual and I bowed my head in humility, I closed my eyes and I said I’m sorry for my part in our fight.
Speaker 2:
They were simple words, but so profound. This person started crying and hugged me and just couldn’t even speak and the transformation that occurred for people that were there was really profound, including my own husband. He was so taken aback at my sign of humility towards this person because he was one of the ones that said you shouldn’t apologize first, it should be the other person. So it just comes to show you how God works in mysterious ways and how he works through people and for people and for their light and love. And the last couple of tests that he showed me were also these two individuals that have wounded me so deeply in my later years. And he said I want you to have compassion and I want you to forgive them, because compassion is another element you’re going to need on this journey, on this mission. I’m going to put you on to submit to your husband now. The timing is now. It needs to happen now.
Speaker 2:
Your daughter needs you to do it. Her husband needs you to do it. You need you to do it. Husband needs you to do it. You need you to do it and I need you to do, and I want you to do it for me, just as I did it for you, I died on the cross for you. I need you to do this for me.
Speaker 2:
And so now I’m getting ready for this mission, right, and what I what I have found is I’ve gone back and looked at this journey since 2018, I’ve come a long way, from that girl that was so, so proud and unwilling and inflexible to change, to really growing into herself and really loving fully, and what I think is happening here is that he’s teaching me how to love, how to love the way he loves us, which is such a high, higher standard than the standard that we human beings live by. So I just want you guys to think about a difficult relationship you have in your life. Think of someone that you could reach out to and make amends, maybe forgive, because here’s the thing about forgiveness and acceptance and humility and surrender and compassion. You win. You ultimately free yourself from pride and guilt and shame, things that just surround your heart and protect you, but from really experiencing love in the purest form, which is the love that christ gives us every single day. And on this week of holy week, you know, I just want to remind you. What do you need to forgive today, what do you need to accept so that your relationship is such that, when they transition, like in the case of my father, you’re at peace and you’re not regretting anything?
Speaker 2:
If you have someone like that in your life, the time is now to invite Christ in it and ask him to guide you, because Christ has seen everything. He knows your heart, he knows their heart, he knows what both of you need to heal and to love and to just grow into this profound relationship that you’re seeking. So if it is your spouse, I consider first drawing closer to God and inviting him into your life, and second is listening for those promptings and acting in a timely fashion. I’m Sylvia Worsham. Thank you so much for tuning in to Submission that dirty little word and for the rest of the participants of Released Out Revealed Purpose, have a beautiful and blessed Holy Week. I love y’all. I’ll talk to you and see you next week and remember Matthew 5.14, be the light.
Speaker 1:
So that’s it for today’s episode of Release Doubt Reveal Purpose. Head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on iTunes We’ll win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a $25,000 private VIP day with Sylvia Worsham herself. Be sure to head on over to sylviaworsham.com and pick up a free copy of Sylvia’s gift and join us on the next episode.